Parenthood, disability, ethics, and the crooked way of grace
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On Marriage, Church, and Sticking Around When Things Get Hard

In both marriages and churches, sometimes the challenge is to stay in the aftermath of serious hurts and major betrayals. More often, the challenge is to stay when things have become dull and predictable and exhausting.

Natural Family Planning Isn’t the Only Ethical Option for Christians: Why I Chose an IUD

As I cradled my third newborn in his first hours of life, I was seized by a single, overwhelming thought: Never again. I could not possibly have another baby. My “never again” was more than a wearily satisfied observation that our family now felt complete. My “never again” was a desperate plea, tinged with panic, [Read More...]

The Tenacious Brilliance of a Long Marriage

In recognition of my and Daniel’s 17th wedding anniversary this weekend, I’m reposting this piece, slightly edited, from last year. Daniel and I have a bunch of good wedding ring stories. There’s the story about Daniel going to buy my engagement ring. (Actually, to exchange the ring he bought for his first fiancée for a bigger, nicer [Read More...]

A Letter to My 16-Year-Old Self

To my 16-year-old self: When people tell you that your scars are a kind of beauty mark, that they don't even notice your physical impairments any more, that you are beautiful and loved, believe them. Believe them the first time they say these things, a...

On Valentine’s Day, Love (Not Romance) is What Matters

Our Valentine’s Day celebrations are even more pathetic understated than usual this year. Many years, Daniel and I have purchased a premade four-course Valentine’s Day dinner from a local pasta shop. For about $60 and the minimal labor of assembling the salad and heating up the main course, we can eat a restaurant-quality meal in our [Read More...]

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